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'...give me what I want, I allow it now...' Jake woke with a fright, lost of breath and sweating in his bed. It was late probably early morning. He had too much energy to sleep and decided to watch the 24 hour news channel on tv, nothing new had happened asides the current wars and something about space travel. He decided to sit at his study and write a few notes to prepare for work the next day, to his left a pile of books that he was looking into; 'Psychology For Beginners', 'How to please yound ladies'and 'The satanic reference'. He pushed them away and started writing on his notepad. An hour later he found he was wide awake and decided to write a letter, which he did with his favourite gold fountain pen on plain paper, finally he put everything aside and looked in the reflection in the window facing him and fell his head to his hands. The early morning passed very slowly, a shower helped him feel better. In his robes he chose to wear his navy blue suit with brightly patterned knecktie that was his favourite. Before getting breakfast he swallowed a few pills that he laboured with quite heavily. He had been diagnosed with manic depression years ago, the taking of his pills now only a routine that he rarely gave a second thought to anymore. In the half dark he waited for his work colleague to pick him up with her car. Enola waited for him downstairs beeping her horn impatiently. He got into the car. 'You're late' he said somberly. 'No courtesy, how surprising' Enola replied. 'You're the secretary, you're supposed to be punctual, who else do they have who is of enough stature to answer phones' Enola didn't reply but stayed quiet all the way to work. Finally when they parked she said in a strong voice 'This is the last time I pick you up, you can find your own way'. 'Not a problem' Jake moved swiftly up the stairs and entered the office. A few people glanced in his direction but did not greet him. He promptly sat at his desk, got out the notes he wrote earlier and started his work. An hour or so passed uneventful. When he noticed at the far end of the office the door was swung open and Daisy stepped through. He suddenly felt elated; Jake had known Daisy since his second last year at high school, they studied together during happier times. All through those school years he had been obsessed with her, but the best he could ever do was one dance with her at one of the school functions, something which was carved into his fantasies for many years to come. Daisy visited his workplace every now and then for supplies and he was nt surprised to see her here now. 'Hey Jake' her tone was flat, she was wearing dark clothes as usual, a lightly fitted black top and high loose trousers. She was a sickly pale, donning metal rimmed glasses and dark hair tied back. Her atire betrayed her figure well, she was extruded in a bony way, her slim kneck long and irregular and a man with a lesser attention would first notice her full breasts and hips. 'Hi there' he said uneasily though in such as soft a tone as he could find. 'Enola said you could show me a few things on the comp about Office' Jake glanced at Enola's desk and jested in his thoughts. Enola was not authorized to do something like that but he guessed she did that to spite him not knowing his hidden feelings for Daisy, for like the creature that he was rarely betrayed any notion of emotion. 'Take a seat' and with that brought over a swivel chair for her use. He could not even call his relationship with Daisy a friendship but they did share casual acquaintance They sat and he talked softly answering her questions. He was nervous though and the tell tale signs told that of him. Daisy noticed that but also sensed that he was overly gentle in his manner. The session went well enough for her needs and it was drawing at an end. Jake was trying to resist all his hopes for he knew their end only too well. Silence began after their lesson as she wrote into her notepad. 'So how's it going for you' she queried casually. 'Well after school I got this job, and here I am' Suddenly she felt dread and hoped she never asked that, She waited carelessly hoping he would not ask of her tidings but he did not, she looked at his face and saw his uneasyness. In a place where she had known no harmony here was this forgotten man with his gentle manner and with that she asked carelessly while she stood up, 'Do you know Lindsey's bar on kennedy ? I usually go there in the evenings, how would you like to meet for a drink' 'Ok sounds good' with that he hardly hesitated and she left his office uneasy with her own abrupt behaviour, Jake did not leave sight of her until she vanished through the door. A sudden hope grasped him and with its understanding he fell to great lows. In him a violent battle had started and strangely was calmed as if by a sudden magical force. Little known to Daisy was that Jake knew her more than she thought. He knew that she had dropped out of school early after a car accident took her parents' life. her last days there were distraught and violent very unlike the girl he had fallen for. He later learned through reliable gossip that she was sent to a mental institution after she tried to kill herself and when he had learnt that he had sunk into his deep despair. He followed her life and with all her tumultuous experiences felt overcome with pity and sadness all his days. At night he would have delusions that he was in bed with her, usually doing nonsensical things like talking, laughing, loving and the knowledge that they would probably never meet more than casual friends only added to his hollow. Yet, it had finally happened, he was going to go drinking with her, at least he would have some fun and perhaps even hold her as he once did. He was bothered by that thought in the corner yet again but he had no time for that, he had to type out his work as fast as he could. Something
else troubled him, but he would not think of that now, Instead, silly
as it was he was trying to think up of things to say to her if he finally
decided to brave the world and meet her at Lindsey's. He typed quickly,
his work will have to be finished soon. At home in the evening, he assembled something good to wear for such an occasion. Very unlike him he tossed his work clothes astray, called a taxi and sat in the quiet waiting. His body was buzzing with energy, which was an omen that it was time to take his pills again but today he did not. The taxi showed up. --- The Bar was bare with people, which pleased him all the better, in there he went and looked for Daisy. Sure enough she was sitting at the corner table, she was as he met her at work. 'Hi Daisy, what's up ?', He took a seat. 'Glad you're here' 'What are you drinking ?' 'A stoli, want one ?' 'Ok !' She motioned to the girl serving and with a sign to her glass. 'How was your day ?' 'As boring as any other day !'and with that he saw boredom in her expression so very foolishly he said 'the only thing is that today I didn't take any pills, so perhaps it is a special day after all' He had dug his own grave and his hopes sank. Daisy was surprised by that. She also took pills on a daily basis and the fact that he revealed that to her so early thrilled her into thinking that perhaps he wasn't so shallow as he appeared. With her flirtuous nature she put her foot on his and kept it there smiling at him as if to nurture him and also change the subject. He looked up blushing, 'work is always boring, but after work I like sitting in a dark study writing poetry if you could call it that' 'really ! could you tell me one ?' 'No!, not here' That thought and insinuation thrilled her, 'Let's go for a walk, it's better outside' --- They walked a distance and shared pleasantries till they reached a building where she stopped. 'I live here, would you like to come up for coffee ?', she had already figured out what she wanted to do with this gentle spoken man, perhaps she had too much to drink. 'I'd like that very much' he looked at her and he saw that it was the alchohol talking, he followed her into her appartment and closed the door behind him. She put her arms around him and pressed her body against his, all without warning. Jake put his hands on her stretched body and shared a breath with her finally kissing her. Wantingly with her lips she beckoned him for more. With that she flicked her shoes away and with that Jake had a split second to survey her home; they were now in a room which shared a living room and a ktichen, a door led to what he believed was the bedroom and another probably to the bathroom. Her living room was bare housing a couch in front of a tv and stereo with a balcony overlooking the street, a picture frame lay face down on a side table and a bottle of pills carelessly left lying next to it. Before he could see any more she kissed him again, this time on her toes. She undid her belt and dropped her gear exposing her legs and white underwear. Jake noticed she had two scars on her thigh which he guessed were self inflicted, that dragged him down but she kissed him again. He could not handle this. 'Wait a minute, Stop !' Daisy was taken aback and stood there looking at him, 'what's wrong ?' she asked harshly. He sat down, put his head in his hands as if suddenly overcome by a burden. 'I care about you', he did not know any other way to say it but it was his terrible burden and he had to tell her. She was confused. And she thought either he was psychotic or a child in the body of a man. 'Get Out !' said sternly. He looked
up at her his face twisted. She was stunned and felt pity for this hulk of a gentle man who was reduced to tears before her. She sat next to him more careful this time and put her arm on him remembering how in a worse time she had always wished someone would do the same. Jake glanced at the pills again and he went eerily calm.' Sorry, this is all stupid, I have to go' with that he stood. She saw a lot of her madness in him and she desperately wanted to stay with someone who shared something that close to her. 'Please don't go yet', very stupidly she said, 'would you like some pills ?' He looked at her for a moment and suddenly burst out laughing, she laughed with him. She put her arms around him again, 'Please don't go, I don't understand everything but I know how bad it is and that hurts me .. and it hurts but I'm confused. A bewildering statement for any strangers to share but both were desperate individuals so in their desperation they hugged each other. Jake kissed her on the forehead and let her look into him. She saw in him the twisted anguish that a stranger would take as madness and in deeper thought she understood more clearly. She kissed him on the cheek and in her confusion said 'I don't want to hurt you but now I am hurt and I don't want you to leave, not now, I am very scared, everything and everyone is so mean to me, I don't want you to be mean to me too' He held her and kissed her but this time their kiss was extraordinarily deep with meaning. When he looked at her he saw that her face was transformed from the cocksure girl he met at the bar to one of uncertainty and caring. Once again he kissed her with his hand on her cheek and she felt the need to purge herself physically so she climbed on him her legs about his waist and he held her there suddenly feeling a similar desire. 'Take me to the bedroom' she beckoned him and he did. It was dark but he could feel her standing in front of him, his hands took off her top and likewise she undid his belt buckle dropping his slacks to the floor. He took off his own shirt hastily and moved closer to her to touch her. She was very nimble to the touch her skin delicate. Her full breasts were pressed against his chest and he enjoyed their nature. Motioning for her to descend to the bed she did and he followed suit. He lingered there on top of her with her legs about him, he pressed his manliness against her, kissed her while their bodies joined. Her nimble body excited him and he could feel her tremble every time they joined. He kissed
her on the cheek and whispered to her.... She listened intently and accepted all that he said to her coupled with her physical pleasure. His whispers grew quite serious in nature but she accepted them for what they were. 'I would
love you to the end of days...' And it went on until finally she interrupted him, 'I love you, I don't know who you are but I love you'. She didn't see him smile, or the great shadow that was lifted in his mind. And still he whispered to her, together in the dark they gave away years of torment to each other. After she grew tired, she lay with him in bed under the sheets her body draped about him. She took pleasure in that he appeared to enjoy touching her extremely and she felt very special to have someone like him engrossed in her body. He started talking in his gentle voice she now adored and he explained to her some ways of life. He appeared to know the core of her and she felt at peace with herself knowing more about herself than she learnt in her lifetime and terrible years. She fell asleep and so did he. --- A face of
terror approached him, it reeked of horror and despair. The demon spoke.. Jake was calm, 'And it shall be taken'. With that darkness reached into his depth and he felt as if he was being taken into a dark void, more threatening than anything else he has ever faced. But with all that violent wretching of his soul he was at peace because he knew she would be ok' --- Daisy suddenly woke up with a terrible omen. she felt cold. jake felt cold. She looked at him, he was smiling and appeared to be very at peace. But she was worried about something. She bid him to wake up but he didn't move. With that she was more frantic and started violently shaking him. But he would not wake. --- She was in mourning again and she knew that she would not last the week. She stayed at home in bed where his body was now taken away. She remembered all that he said to her and wished he was still here. More than every she was confused. She received a letter that day by post, it was from Jake. It comforted her and she learned how he had sold his soul to the devil so that he could please her for one day and take away her neverending depression. She laughed at the madness of it all and peered over the street below her balcony. With that she took her own life. |
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